Trump calls Bolton a Traitor for Mentioning Jared Kuchener More Times Than Him in His New Book.

President Trump aides told reporters that John Bolton, ex-national security advisor to the executive office, should be imprisoned for releasing his memoirs of the time he spent in the Oval Office of the White House. The presidential aides reported on condition of anonymity that the president was “furious that ‘Bolton wrote a book about me and mentions Jared more times than me. I think that’s entirely unacceptable and borders on treason. What do you think would happen to any author in, say, Russia, or North Korea, or Saudi Arabia who insulted their supreme leaders like Bolton did me. Their family members would have to be put in hiding at the very least, let alone their perpetrating author. Why would he even bother to write a book about me and then thumb his nose up at me like that? Bolton’s book is entirely over-rated. The book is a big loser, like it’s author. I’m sure its sales won’t even pay for its own publication expenses. Mr. Bolten, if you read this, I’m here to say you better be prepared for a huge bill for your unsold books.” When the President was asked by reporters if he had read Bolten’s newly released book, Trump replied, “I don’t read loser books. They just make you dumber than you already are, you know, so I don’t have time for theat. What’s the point? Duh.” Aids say white house clerks were tasked with getting a word count of “Trump” and “Kuchener” in Bolton’s book and “Trump” was mentioned 23% fewer times than his son-in-law. Security for Bolton has been increased temporarily in response to the president’s vitriolic reaction that could incite his loyal voter base to retaliate for not mentioning their President more times in the book than his son-in-law.”